break up

My life has always been a dud till I left my hometown few years back to try myself in IT world. It turned beautiful when I left all emotions and relations to start a career in city of dreams, mumbai. But a strange thing happened at the start of this year. I fell in love . But I made a mistake of trying to leave mumbai to be with her in our hometown. No one can leave mumbai if the city doesnt want one to go. I tried and failed and the price of failure became too much of burden to bear. I have insulted my emotions as well as hers too by being so helpless. Sometimes I wanna ask people what is more painful . Not having something or losing the thing that you had. I guess both. And I had my share of both these . Today I have been again denied by my company to get a transfer. Yet again, I have failed and trust me this time the loss is more than just few months more of waiting. I just broke up with my girlfriend,sort of mutual ,coz we both are tired of missing each other . We will pretend as if we never existed . Lets try this also . Anyways there is no need to get a trasnfer now as the reason and motivation to come back to hometown is lost. O lord bless me for which I fell in love .