Breakup ke baad ki 1 call

I had been in a long distance relationship and I loved it and hated it simultaneously. It had that feeling of misery and helplessness that we all want in some dark hidden corner of our heart. At least I understood what makes love stories so difficult and found it in a really hard way. Even now after quite a long time of breakup, I call her to get a feeling of that stupid belonging that I loved. Lets see if you can get a feel .

Me : Hiiii(in my cutest voice) – all excited

Her : hmmm

Me : yaar, baat karni thi ?

Her : Jab time that to ki nahi,ab breakup ke baad baat karni hai X-(

Me : (1 min silence)

Her : (2 min silence)

Me : Busy hai kya ?

Her: Haan, very.

Me : Baad mein karun ??

Her: Ho sake to kabhi nahi.

Me : (5 min silence) Ok, Bye !!

Phone disconnected !!!

Awesome,right ?

After this call , I will call up some friend and smoke up a cigarette and go back to sleep .

Should I Call or should not ??

It has been around 6 months without my girlfriend in my life and it feels like hell. I had some flings and normal flirting moments during this time but that didn’t help me get over with it. Whenever I touched other girls I imagined my girl with me and how happy she will be when I will do these things to her. But it didn’t happen. God knows why, and now even you do. It is because of my stupid and emotionally impulsive behaviour yet it is me and i refuse to change. I might be called sissy to reveal the emotional me but that’s the fun being a ghost writer, you don’t know me .Now the question is Should I call her again??

If I call her, she will remind me how I made her feel bad at times and that she has moved on and I should do the same. How I made her cry and how I wasn’t there when I needed her. Some complaints, isn’t it? May be or maybe not, we were in a long distance relationship and it takes a mature and patient to understand the situations and needs of a person so far away. We both lacked it and now here we are, alone and sad. At least I am.

So I want to call her but wont coz too much is at stake . My pride , my ego etc.

I am calling, bye !!