If you want something to happen ,Make it happen . Use all your nerves to get it. Don't wait for it to happen naturally because it wont happen that way. Dint get complacent , Don't be proud ,happy of what you will get till you get it. This is something from my own experience . Time literally flows when you laze around . Always be on your toes to grab what you want . Just be an opportunist. I made this mistake of taking things lightly and messing with my priorities that landed my career and my life in a shit pot.
I had the potential and the style and the attitude,aptitude etc everything in my favour but i just got carried away . I thought myself of a gr8 person in making but I got forgot there is someone called GOD up there somewhere who is the master(driver) of life . He doesn't let you have anything unless he makes sure you deserve it . I thought myself to be an optimistic person but i gradually,unintentionally crossed the line that separates optimism and delusions .
"Delusion " : They give you the best feelings of life , your deepest desires and keeps you away from the actual misery of life but remember they are just delusions and not a part of reality .
This was the truth I was running from, refusing to accept but finally at this point of my career , i accept it , I accept my defeat , something i never did till now .
If you pity me , DON'T!!!!!!!!
These things are not something that happened with me .
Y life is not that bad if you consider where I started from and where i am now. And the way i see it ,it can only be better.
I am not expressing . I am exaggerating and writing my thoughts.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Sunday, March 2, 2008
The Turning point
The turning point came in 2001 when a guy with a naive, aimless life was brought in a bigger, badder, meaner world .
when we shifted our home from rani bagh to pitampura in '89 , i express my wish to go to D.L.D.A.V model school to my mom . it was a fabulous building for me considering my old school.
My mom told me she will get me enrolled in there at right time. she did it in '01 when i was about to leave my first (better) school. right timing,right acts, right ambiance, right new friends everything going perfect for a newcomer in a big school. I got a little too happy for myself . New group was a hip group, i enjoyed their company for a long time but gradually as career took the the front seat , i just lost myself, my friends and my time . I cant say goodbye ,that's a problem with me. so i try to be a stone hearted person to people i like . This is the thing i still haven't change about myself , maybe because i cant do it. all this is because of my insecurities of losing and this happens because i never owned ,possessed anything .
I am not trying to victimize myself......
its just the way it i am......
that's 2 academic yrs of high school.
I don't remember more and please don't remind me of those days..........
when we shifted our home from rani bagh to pitampura in '89 , i express my wish to go to D.L.D.A.V model school to my mom . it was a fabulous building for me considering my old school.
My mom told me she will get me enrolled in there at right time. she did it in '01 when i was about to leave my first (better) school. right timing,right acts, right ambiance, right new friends everything going perfect for a newcomer in a big school. I got a little too happy for myself . New group was a hip group, i enjoyed their company for a long time but gradually as career took the the front seat , i just lost myself, my friends and my time . I cant say goodbye ,that's a problem with me. so i try to be a stone hearted person to people i like . This is the thing i still haven't change about myself , maybe because i cant do it. all this is because of my insecurities of losing and this happens because i never owned ,possessed anything .
I am not trying to victimize myself......
its just the way it i am......
that's 2 academic yrs of high school.
I don't remember more and please don't remind me of those days..........
My first school
Now that was the time when i really enjoyed, had real friends , no tension whatsoever.
May be bcoz it was a small school . did you noticed 'was' . maybe you got it right, it has been closed.
i get carried away with my thoughts ,so if you find the stories a little wayward, please bear with me .
i have just started...
school life till 10th (AISSE)
D.A.V centenary public school, rani bagh . thats the name which doesnt exist today.
Now that was the time when i really enjoyed, had real friends , no tension whatsoever.
May be bcoz it was a small school . did you noticed 'was' . you got it right, it has been closed.
I made some real friends , friends who were there from preschool ,till now . some remember me coz of my curly hairstyle .
(my brother aslo has similar hairstyle. we got it from our mom (Dad is bald) so its not any style, its just hereditary)
when i met them on 6th feb , we had a blast . 7 yrs of separation and no contact.
Anyone who sa girls talk more than guys was proven wrong.
They remember things that were even faded in my memory. How I used to brag about
not having any cable connection, but still gets to watch evry channel coz our TV catches the signal from a nearby connection joint. I coulndt believe when he reminded me of this thing, how he got jealous of this thing(1997) . man , what fealing pours in when a long lost friend tells you how he remembers every act, smile, sorrow,fight,punishment,copying and everything you did but dont realised it then of yours ....
that was amazing,absolutely . what a day that was . no more talk on that , let it remain my personal,private evening .
May be bcoz it was a small school . did you noticed 'was' . maybe you got it right, it has been closed.
i get carried away with my thoughts ,so if you find the stories a little wayward, please bear with me .
i have just started...
school life till 10th (AISSE)
D.A.V centenary public school, rani bagh . thats the name which doesnt exist today.
Now that was the time when i really enjoyed, had real friends , no tension whatsoever.
May be bcoz it was a small school . did you noticed 'was' . you got it right, it has been closed.
I made some real friends , friends who were there from preschool ,till now . some remember me coz of my curly hairstyle .
(my brother aslo has similar hairstyle. we got it from our mom (Dad is bald) so its not any style, its just hereditary)
when i met them on 6th feb , we had a blast . 7 yrs of separation and no contact.
Anyone who sa girls talk more than guys was proven wrong.
They remember things that were even faded in my memory. How I used to brag about
not having any cable connection, but still gets to watch evry channel coz our TV catches the signal from a nearby connection joint. I coulndt believe when he reminded me of this thing, how he got jealous of this thing(1997) . man , what fealing pours in when a long lost friend tells you how he remembers every act, smile, sorrow,fight,punishment,copying and everything you did but dont realised it then of yours ....
that was amazing,absolutely . what a day that was . no more talk on that , let it remain my personal,private evening .
CONFESSION ROOM
its time to disclose the true me..........
but if you interrogate me on this i will simply deny it.....
1 : Studies
a: If my father were a businessman i wouldnt have even done my graduation...
i dont want to study but i had to study to get what i want . I never got it but then i am
highly optimistic and still waiting for it.
2 : Girls
a : I dont like some girls , others dont like me. (pretty simple , aint it)
b: I usually (schooltime) selects the smartest girl in our class to flirt with , but then they
are just too smart for me..
3: Career
a : I could have cleared IIT but turnes cuckoo at last moment. i got nervous in maths paper
and got not even 1 mark in it..
physics(27/50) ,chemistry (21/50) ,maths -00
4: Attention
a: I am an attention seeker . you wont believe it but trust me i am what i say i am...
may be i am writing the blog also to get some attention.
5: Beware
a: i dont forgive and i never forget..
i dont even forgave myself for doing the above stated things....................
but if you interrogate me on this i will simply deny it.....
1 : Studies
a: If my father were a businessman i wouldnt have even done my graduation...
i dont want to study but i had to study to get what i want . I never got it but then i am
highly optimistic and still waiting for it.
2 : Girls
a : I dont like some girls , others dont like me. (pretty simple , aint it)
b: I usually (schooltime) selects the smartest girl in our class to flirt with , but then they
are just too smart for me..
3: Career
a : I could have cleared IIT but turnes cuckoo at last moment. i got nervous in maths paper
and got not even 1 mark in it..
physics(27/50) ,chemistry (21/50) ,maths -00
4: Attention
a: I am an attention seeker . you wont believe it but trust me i am what i say i am...
may be i am writing the blog also to get some attention.
5: Beware
a: i dont forgive and i never forget..
i dont even forgave myself for doing the above stated things....................
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
