Something is wrong, very wrong . Even after everything is going my way . I am not feeling the bliss . I laugh lke a maniac sometimes but that doesnt mean I am happy . Maybe the face reader ankita said the right words for me that I can never be happy until and unless I forgive myself and be satisfied with what I have got . The dream of living with friends in a different city and letting myself out of control is going on. I am living it for past 10 days and now I am over with it .Now I want a different dream to live for , to vouch for and to live for . Maybe I am still not over my nightmarish blunder of sleeping and not writing a word in my IIT maths exam for which i got a big 0. At that time I thought or maybe I wont be able to recall what I thought. So now when I express myself it will be a twirl of thoughts , but before I bring back those memories , you should know more about me .
1 : I like to self destruct . I will never save a program that I made and in the end I will spend more time in recalling it rather than starting from scratch .
2: I don't smoke becaus I am addicted to it .I smok because I hav nothing else to do it at that time or because I want to destroy myself.
3: I feel I am not addicted to anything . but I think cigarettes have become my lifelong companion i dont want to part with. May be for a good cause I will quit it but till then lets burn the cigrettes and lungs alike .
4: One more BIG fact , I will prepare and practice harder than anyone else befor the exam . But on the D-day what I will do in exam is self explanatory if you read th point 1 again.
May be all this is related to " groucho marx syndrome" in which the perso feels so bad about himself that when good things start happening to him , he feels afraid abd doubtful of all the happenings going around him . He doesnt know what to do and ends up taking the wrong decision and making a mistake again . Now this decision also haunts him and it goes in a infinite loop for him.
" Now this person has to create blog to vent out his frustration but what the fuck!!!!
Nobody comments (acknowledgement of reading) . so it seems like another failure to him . :D
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1 comment:
Acknowledged! :) Don't compare blogging with the real world. Getting an acknowledgment for blogs is quite hard, which does not mean that the post was bad. Even for good posts, you could end up having no comments. Similarly, in life also... I don't want to talk philosophy :) You are mature enough to understand the metaphor.
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