August

Its 23 days in to the month of August which started with me full of energy and tons of enthusiasm, and now I am tired and fed up of this industry . Bored of the same people and the race to pussy approach among the call center employees. I was taught to respect everyone and not see the opposite gender as a thing for entertainment . But the people here are making me feel idiot when it comes to one night stands or flings. I don't know who is right or who is wrong but one thing that I know is, its whole of class(world) against me. Why do they have problem when I talk to girls but don't take initiative to take them out for the sex thing. May be , I am not that type or may be I don't have enough confidence or resources to take them on a date, but still , they make me feel as if I am wasting the girls by keeping them away from other guys. Their talk comprises of google earth maps and boasting of the houses and parking lots where they lost their virginity. and I am stunned , honestly, to hear those self-appreciating so called affairs.
Recently , since the talk about the late night party has come up, everybody's planning to hook up a girl or two or how to get the girls get drunk and they all are doing this behind my back because they know those girls are my friends and in my presence , they wont be able to do that. So they all are avoiding me for their filthy talk and again I feel like a lonely person . I say I am a man but still fear to choose a stand on this situation.
I knew I wont be able to survive in this BPO industry but still I am here because of some stupid mistakes I made when I decided to choose referring to my own nutty brains. It's not my choice , its my destiny.

Some lines on which I describe myself:-
I am just a Kid and life is a Nightmare............????????
It may all be real or may be I just think too much.......????????
I want to be a bad man , to do everything but still there is someone in me who stops me from doing some things.......????????